


Darkness is taking over

by Shadowglitterfairy



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Crime sorciere mentioned, Gen, Mentions of Blood, Suicidal Thoughts, Takes place during the avatar arc, this is dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowglitterfairy/pseuds/Shadowglitterfairy
Summary: Gray is losing himself, while infiltrating Avatar.The changes he he had to go through, while in Avatar
Kudos: 13
Collections: Slayers Week 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is depressing. Don't read if you get triggered by blood. Gray has suicidal thoughts.  
> Comments are always appreciated!

“You need to get used to it”.” It's their life or yours”. “Breathe let the anger flow through you don't let it take control”.

All these thoughts swarmed through Gray's mind, as he looked down at the man in front of him. He had stopped twitching, finally the gurgling stopped too. “Well done Gray you truly are worthy of joining Avatar”! The members of Avatar shouted their praise. A new member to help purify the world so that Zeref may return. However, the only thing Gray could focus on was the warm blood trickling down his arm that only a few moments prior was covered in sharp ice, that had pierced trough the man that now lays in a pile on the dirty ground.  
“Breathe it's your life or theirs”.

The members new and old of Crime sorciere, had taken it upon themselves to train Gray so as to avoid suspicion when he goes to infiltrate Avatar. It's harsh, but he could no longer be Gray of Fairy tail no he had to be dark and cruel he had to become Gray of Avatar.  
Each member had spent a few days with him teaching him giving him tips and taught him how to survive.

Sorano, had taught him how to use his looks to get into places, that would otherwise not be possible without the right authority or rank. She helped him with reading people, and taught him how to manipulate people to do his dirty work.  
Sawyer taught him when to speak, and how to grab the right attention. When to stay quiet and shift the blame on to others with a few simple words.  
Richard taught him how to get people to talk, to trust him and to confide in him. This would benefit Gray when he had to disappear, when he had to see the others to keep them updated on Avatars plan's.  
Macbeth was ruthless, when it came to teaching, “Don't get attached to anyone their monsters and you have to make them believe you are too”. He helped Gray get used to death in away. His illusions made the images more bearable.

Erik helped him to listen, anything and everything could be used against Avatar. He helped Gray with acting the right way, how to keep his cool and when to strike.  
Meredy was kind, but stern she taught him how to cope, so that the darkness wouldn't consume him. She made sure to keep an eye on Gray when ever he reported back. Sometimes she would have him talk to her much like Ultear did when they left Grimiore heart.  
Jellal he was the one who insisted on training with Gray, it helped that both men could go all out without having to worry that the other would be gravely injured.  
When the time came, Gray was no longer the same, he had changed. Infiltrating Avatar was easy enough but over time he became quieter, and more often than not the men of Avatar saw him glaring at anything in his path. Meredy was the first to voice her concern. However, the others knew Gray was strong, they had seen first hand what he could do once he set his mind to it. But even they became worried once they saw the madness in his eyes when he started talking about E.N.D. Now they could only hope that the darkness didn't devour him.

The screams became more and more bearable after time. Gray no longer flinched when warm blood splattered onto his cold skin. The coppery smell became a constant in his daily activities with Avatar. He no longer became ill at the horrors he witnessed.  
The devil slayer magic certainly helped with keeping his emotions under control. Whenever the dark markings spread across his skin, his emotions became numb, a veil covered his humanity making anyone shiver when they caught the cold glare of his gaze.

For half a year it was easy pushing away his emotions and letting only anger and the need for revenge drive him. He had nothing to go back to now, at least that's what the voices kept whispering to him.  
Until his friends showed up, and Natsu, and he fought. Seeing them sparked something inside his soul. He saved Lucy from Gômon. They stopped Avatar together just like old times.  
However, that night after everyone went to sleep Gray slipped away going to a lake a good few meters away. Climbing in still fully clothed he drifted. Everything was quiet except for his thoughts. Things like “You don't deserve to be here” and “Their better off without a monster like you” it was all too much and soon Gray found himself under the freezing water drifting down to the bottom. Closing his eyes, his lungs burned, his chest tight with sorrow. Soon he thought soon everything will be quiet and then I won't hurt anyone else again.  
Gray was slipping into darkness fast, until warm arms pulled him. One second he felt the water rush around him, the next his body's hitting the ground and a pair of warm lips are pushing oxygen into his lungs. He coughs water spilling from his mouth, and he's gulping for air. However, no matter how fast he's breathing he can't get enough air in his lungs” Gray listen to me you need to calm down” it's Natsu's voice that sounds frantic but also so far away.

Everything feels fussy and wrong his mind is buzzing, and he's trying to talk, but he still can't breathe. Something hot is against his thigh its scorching and just what he needs to snap out of it. He breaths, this time he takes deep breaths and the next thing he knows is that he's crying in Natsu's arms. Natsu holds him rocking them back and fort gently humming a tone that Gray doesn't recognize. He's shivering adrenaline starting to wear off.  
They hold each other all night neither saying a word. Gray is still trembling by the time the sun starts rising, but he's stopped crying, and he's clinging to Natsu like he might disappear if Gray let's go of him.  
Natsu is the first to break the silence “Gray what's going on”? His voice is soft like he's speaking to a wounded animal. And in a way Gray is. He hunted people down and felt no remorse. He was a monster who should have died.  
As if sensing what Gray is thinking Natsu pulls away just enough so that he can look Gray in the eyes. “Whatever you did it was to stop Avatar”. “Do you hear me”?  
“You are not a bad person Gray” Natsu's still whispering and it makes Gray angry for some reason. “But I am!- I'm a monster Natsu I killed, and tortured those people even if they were bad they didn't deserve to die! I…you should have let me die…  
Gray gets up again walking toward their camp site. He feels cold, and he's tired.


	2. Light in the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu truly is the light in Gray's darkness

For a time it's easy to push away his emotions. They are in the middle of a war against Zeref,and right now he needs to stop the dark wizard at all costs.  
This time no one will stop him from casting Iced Shell. He'll take away all the painful memories he has caused. And Natsu his Natsu will be able to have a happy life.  
"So you know what Natsu is then a demon one of my finest creations" Zeref taunts,his smile is filled with arrogant satisfaction, and Gray can't wait to wipe it from the bastards face.   
"Natsu is not a demon" Gray is trembling. He had nearly killed the person he loves the most. But that won't matter, he's going to fix it. Zeref is still spewing out nonsense, before he stops looking wide eyed at Gray.  
Gray quickly crosses both arms over one another the temperature drops and Zeref looks terrified, Gray is ready he's made peace in a way,now his friends darkness will be sealed away. And they won't have to be sad for him because they won't remember him… Natsu won't remember him. Tears streak across his cheeks as he whispers his goodbyes.  
Just a few more seconds,and the spell will be complete. He's half way incased in ice already. But Natsu is there in a instant holding the sobbing man in his arms. He summons the last bit of Igneel's flames to save Gray. Fire surrounds them both and for the first time in nearly a year Gray feels warm.  
Natsu is yelling to live,to be happy, and Gray wants to say something to deny that he shouldn't have happiness. But the look Natsu gives him is the same look he had given him the first time he tried casting Iced shell all those years ago.   
Gray didn't understand the look then, but now he knows.  
Lucy and Happy drag him away and Natsu needs their help. 

Lucy is trying, she's in pain and crying but she's fighting to save Natsu. Gray helps her ice and keeps her blood from boiling. And together they rewrite the book. The words in front of him don't make sense, his mind is clouded by fear. He can't lose Natsu, he still has so much to say to him.   
He cries when he sees Natsu again they hug and apologize but the tension is thick between them. Gray wants to tell Natsu when they have some privacy. They walk bickering, the noise eases Gray's worries, until it's quite again. Natsu is gone and Achnologia is running rampant.  
They fight again, but at this point Gray is exhausted. Lucy's plan had worked but there was no sign of the dragon slayers.

Achnologia was powerful, he had given the dragon salyers a beating they'll never forget. But Natsu doesn't give up, he needs to see Gray again. He needs to tell him what he means to Natsu so he fights with the others by his side.  
They all breathe a sigh of relieve, Achnologia is dead their loved one's and the entire Earthland was save now.

The moment their eyes meet Gray and Natsu sprint towards one another. Gray is trembling while he holds Natsu." I love you" Natsu's voice is soft as he speaks chest rumbling as he holds Gray tightly.  
Gray closed his eyes, breathing in and relaxing in Natsu's arms.  
It would take him a while to be better but right now Gray was content Natsu was safe and in his arms.   
"I love you too Natsu"  
In the darkness of Gray's mind there was a growing flicker of light and with each passing day Natsu helped Gray to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments are always appreciated!


End file.
